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Paige One

Hello Universe, it's me - Paige DuJour - back with a pen in my hand (figuratively speaking as I clack away on my keyboard) after a very, very, very long hiatus!

If you stumbled upon this randomly, a few things up front: this is a blog about nothing but my thoughts, observations, musings and opinions that I am writing strictly for my own pleasure.

I have nothing to sell, and no reason to convince anyone to think like I do. I don’t care what you think about my writing, and I don’t care whether or not you agree with whatever I’m putting out there. I’m not saying that to sound prickly, I just want to be honest about my intent to write only for myself and not for an audience, real or imagined.

If you didn’t stumble on this randomly, I told you about it, so welcome to my latest writing project. My latest project that actually started in the fall of 2002, as a way to stay in touch with my daughter after she left home for college. A page per day. Easier said than done, even just writing one page per day every day really takes some discipline!

But one page per day also means a 365-page book in one year, if writing a book is the goal. In my mind, it makes the idea of writing a book less of a daunting challenge. Is writing a book the goal? I can’t answer that yet. For now, it’s just about writing and doing it as a daily practice. Like meditation, I don’t know exactly what will come up during the process but I’ll go with the flow.

The first thing I’m noticing as I write is how different it is on a computer than when I journal with pen and paper. When I’m typing on a keyboard I find myself editing as I write, whereas when I’m writing on paper it comes out in a nice unbroken flow. I actually wrote most of this page yesterday, then came back to it this afternoon and mostly re-wrote it. I think it’s taken me something like an hour (or more) just to get this much on paper. I’m not having fun yet. In fact I’m feeling a little bit frustrated.

I’m also observing myself being frustrated, and I know with daily practice I can work through this. I may devise some kind of reward system for minimal usage of the backspace key to keep that inner editor in the box where she belongs. If I’m going to write I need to learn to do it like I drive – full out, without one foot constantly on the brake!

The other crippling thought that wants to hold me back is that I don’t know what to write about. I’m not going into this with any kind of plan, which honestly is the way I do a lot of things. I have a really deep faith that I’m drawn toward the activities, people, places and ideas that feed my soul and my growth as a human. So I guess I also need to have faith that I’ll find something to write about every day. To paraphrase artist Chuck Close, inspiration is for amateurs – the rest of us just show up and get to work, with the belief that things will grow out of the activity itself and that we will, through work, bump into other possibilities and kick open other doors we never would have dreamt of if we were just sitting around looking for a good writing idea.

 

On Habits